In 2012, I made the decision to pursue my doctorate to become a child and adolescent psychologist, in accordance with my 12-year-old self’s ambitions. I took a year off after my undergraduate studies in order to save money for anticipated expenses, and I worked as a nanny. When I moved to Chicago in 2013, I quickly realized that a year of saving was not nearly enough and I began to look for part-time work to help supplement rent, bills, and school expenses. I am currently in my third year of graduate school and am in my second externship as part of my program’s curriculum. As an intermediate extern, I conduct therapy with adolescent males who have been referred to drug rehabilitation treatment by their parents, family members, or advocates of the legal system. Most of my clients are between the ages of 16 and 18, and the majority of them are heavily ganginvolved. At the time of my acceptance into this particular program, I was not aware that I would be exposed to “gang life,” however, I knew that I wanted to be in a residential setting and that I wanted to work with adolescent males.

This externship has been an experience that has solidified my intentions to work with adolescent males, but also encouraged me to pursue forensic studies. My ultimate goal is to work in a juvenile detention center with adolescent males. In working with this current population, I have come to realize that, generally, there is a great deal of trauma underlying maladaptive behaviors, gang affiliation, and drug use. Too often, these youth are written off as disrespectful, insubordinate, and beyond help. I have seen that such behaviors serve as a protective factor for many of these youth, and can be the difference between life and death. So many of them have untapped potential due to a lack of resources and/or accessibility of resources. Working in an environment where I am able to be a resource to such youth is also a goal of mine. These youth are underserved and repeatedly neglected, which only exacerbates problematic behaviors and perpetuates the cycle of legal involvement, drug use, and other ineffective or dangerous ways of coping. I hope to be able to advocate for these youth in a way that helps them feel empowered and that encourages each of them to reach their full potential. My plan to achieve these goals is to continue with the program at my school and make my dissertation applicable to the population with whom I intend to work. I am currently writing about how problematic ideals of masculinity (and their genesis) perpetuate various forms of violence against women. I believe that said ideals also contribute to ineffective methods of coping and potentially dangerous trajectories for all involved.

As I embark on this journey, I am continuing to work part-time jobs as a full-time student. Applying and getting accepted for scholarships is, inevitably, one of the best ways I can see my aspirations come to fruition. Being proactive in this process will increase my ability to focus on quality and holistic care for underserved populations, and ensure that I continue to strive in my academic career.